Dear Camryn,

Today you are three.

I’ve sat before my computer staring at that statement for too long wondering, of course, where the time has gone.  As excited as I’ve been for your birthday it also makes me kind of sad to see you turn another year older.  You’re no longer a baby, barely hanging onto toddler, almost a little girl.  And oh, what a fun little spitfire personality you have.  Well, it’s fun most of the time.  Those other times you really know how to keep me on my toes.  Sometimes, I swear, I’m getting glimpses of you as a teenager and it has me a little worried.  Mostly because it reminds me of me when I was that age.  Gigha (Grandma) says that’s called payback.

You are growing up and starting to realize that you have a mind of your own.  You’re pushing limits, testing boundaries.  Nothing out of the ordinary for your age…at least I hope.  I’m so very grateful that your “destructive” phase seems to have passed because I’m not quite sure I could stomach having to repaint another wall you’ve “decorated”, or shampoo the carpets for the sixteenth time because you were curious to see what would happen when you squeezed your strawberry shampoo in the hallway.

You eat cherry tomatoes like they’re candy, and consume an unnatural amount of cheese on a daily basis.  You are also extremely obsessed with lipgloss.  You are constantly foraging through drawers, desks and my purse for more.  You also rifle through my wallet, empty it out and place the contents in your own purse.  This is especially fun when I’m at the store trying to pay for something.

You love singing along and dancing with my iTunes music and ask me to turn it up when one of “your” songs is on.  “Supermassive Black Hole” and “Dynamite” wouldn’t be my first choice of songs for a three year old, however your version of “Red Solo Cup” really gets the party going.

You are so incredibly dramatic.  It’s simply fascinating.  You are affectionate and constantly amaze me by the things you say and do on a daily basis.  Your favorite color is pink but sometimes blue, or orange or purple—what day is today?  You think you can write your name.  Sometimes when you talk it sounds like you have an Italian accent.  You get what you want, when you want it, always.  You have mastered telling your brother “That’s Disgusting!”  You could spend hours playing with stickers.  You beg for tickles.  You put bandaids on phantom boo-boos.  You rock at sword fighting in a princess dress.  YOU are one of a kind, my dearest sweetest most colorful girl.

Happy third birthday, Camma-Lamma.  You have so much to look forward to.

All the Love in the Universe.

Mommy

How beautiful are they?  Their bond is practically tangible.

In the past almost 6 weeks, I have learned a couple of things…

1.  Whoever said going from one to two kids was harder than going from two to three was full of *BEEP* and probably only has a cat.

2.  I’ve come to hate it when people advise me to “sleep when the baby sleeps.”  What am I supposed to do with the other kids?  Tie them up in the back yard?

3.  There is always a little person in need of something.  Food.  A drink.  A boob.  A bath.  A hug.  A mouth, nose, or bum wiped.  A timeout.  Electroshock therapy. Oh no, sorry, that’s for me.

and…

4.  Having three kids cuddled up to me on the couch feels like heaven…..even if the t-shirt I’m wearing is the one I slept in the night before and it’s 4pm.

Dear Cole,

It’s official.  Today, you are five.  You’ve been waiting for this birthday for a long time, and now it’s here.  I hope this next year is everything you want it to be and so much more…

I had this big long letter typed out to you, but the words just seemed so “blah,” so I’m just going to leave you with this….

There isn’t anything that you can’t do in this life if you put your mind to it.  All you need is determination, confidence and the right strategy to get you where you want to be.  While I may not always understand your dreams, or know the best way to get you there, I’ll always be your biggest fan rooting you on.

We all have dreams – some big, some small. No matter how hard we try not all our dreams come true.  That still that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to make them a reality.  My advice to you will always be to dream big.  It would be irresponsible of me to expect you to fulfill the dreams that I failed to realize on my own.  Let’s be honest, you aren’t going to inherit much athletic prowess from me because you run just like I do…legs flailing about almost as if they are independent from the rest of your body.  This means you probably aren’t going to play middle linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens either.  Maybe Quarterback?  I’m pretty sure your father is completely on board with you being a Raven—just ask him.

The day after you were born I received a card from a good friend and her message was this: “Now your life begins.”  Caught up in the moment of being a new mother I thought it was a nice message, but I hadn’t really reflected upon what she meant until after the first few months of your life.  Whether it is the experience that comes with time or an appreciation for the responsibilities of being a parent, I now realize how right she was.  It has taken me all of my nearly thirty years on this earth to find my place in the world. When I was younger I had imagined a life much different than the one I have, and only now with the wisdom of experience, do I realize that what I had wanted wasn’t right for me.  I failed myself by not following my passions then, but I am determined to not make the same mistake twice.  All I can ask of you is that you be honest with yourself, understand your strengths and find happiness in the gifts you have been given.

No matter where your life takes you, what profession you choose, or where you live remember this:  Life isn’t about what you have, but who you have with you.  I didn’t pay much attention to this when I was younger, which can be attributed to the arrogance and ignorance of youth.  It wasn’t until I married your father that I realized everything I thought I needed was not truly essential to my happiness.  I was fortunate in that my life began again with your birth.  These past five years have easily been the most exciting and rewarding of my life and I have you to thank for it.

Happy fifth birthday, Colee-Olee.  Your father and I love you even more than we ever could have thought possible.

All the Love in the Universe.

Mommy

I was too busy gestating to blog.  Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Here he is in all of his five days of life.

Cody Grant Smith  |  June 25, 2011  |  8lbs 1oz  |  21 inches  |  5:10pm

He not only completes my family, he completes my heart.